How does one get into being submissive, or rather, feeling submissive? For me, it happened when I was about 20 years old. Yes, this was before the whole Fifty Shades of Grey “era”. Long before. I didn’t even know what being submissive was at the time. I was very naive back then.

Now, this was a very minor thing that happened to trigger my inner submission, but it stuck in my head for years…several years. I actually kicked my inner sub self for not going through with it.

So what was this minor thing, you ask? Well, I was seeing this man. We will call him Joshua. (C’mon now, you know I can’t use their real names…that wouldn’t be nice.) Anyway, Joshua was a man I had a very big crush on at the time. He was absolutely gorgeous. I often found myself quite nervous around him.

He was older than me, by five years. I could definitely tell he was way more experienced than me just in life in general, but in the bedroom as well. He also exuded confidence, which I lacked at that time in my life.

One day, I remember him asking me, “How do you touch yourself when you masturbate?” and I was horrified that he asked me that because it was an embarrassing question for me at the time. I answered with a lie, exclaiming “I don’t do that!”. He was calm, but surprised by my answer, saying “Well then how do you know how you like to be touched?”.

I was leaving his place at the time of this conversation, and he then told me that he was going to touch himself while watching me leave out the window. I was pretty turned on by that statement and thought, but not used to someone so open and talking to me that way.

Getting back to how I found out I was submissive, I was at his place one evening. We were watching a movie. I’m not sure why, but he was on one couch and I was on another. All of a sudden, he says to me “Come over here and lay across my lap. I’m going to spank you”. Again, I was horrified and embarrassed by this. It was nothing close to anything I’d ever experienced. I mean, c’mon, I was only 20!

So I told him “No”. I was definitely not doing that. He, very calmly, but sternly, told me again to come over there and lay across his lap. Again, my answer was no. He must’ve said it at least five times before relenting. I was relieved he finally gave up on it.

After that day, I never went back. Things were done. Not because of that, but because I ended up meeting my future husband. No, it wasn’t a cheating thing; Joshua and I were never in a committed relationship or anything like that. However, he didn’t like that I never contacted him again. The next time I ever saw him was at my bachelorette party (at a bar)…four years later.

To this day, I regret saying no to the spanking that day. Throughout the years, I thought about it here and there. I knew that things with this man would never be long term, so I don’t regret not being with him. I regret the experience he offered me. I regret more experiences I could have potentially had. I regret not embracing my inner submissive self, that I didn’t know I had.

So, that’s kind of where it all began for me, even though it ended and wasn’t embraced again until many years later…after my divorce.

I would love to hear your submissive or Dominant realization story! It always intrigues me to know how others got started in their journey and where they are now. Feel free to leave a comment or contact me!

Until next time…