This came out of the blue. It kind of slapped me in the face, so to speak. As I said before, I had just re-entered the dating world, which was so new to me after 14 years of marriage.

To recap, I had been on my first date with a man from an online dating website, but the chemistry didn’t end up being there for me. So, moving on…

One day, I received a message from a man from my online dating app. His only message to me was “sub curious?”. Ummm…in my mind, I thought two very different things. My first thought was YES! My second thought was “Wow, the nerve of this guy! Who does he think he is?”. So, logically, I didn’t respond.

I moved on and chatted with other men on the dating app, trying to find a connection that might lead to a date. Yes, I admit, I did think about this man with his “sub curious?” message from time to time. And yes, maybe I did have a teensy tiny bit of regret for not answering to find out more.

About two weeks after his initial message to me, he messaged me again…with the exact same message, “sub curious?”. I replied this time.

Now, this was awhile ago now, so I don’t remember my exact response, but it went something like this, “Can I ask what you mean by that?”. Okay, I knew what it meant obviously, but I wanted to know what he was looking for, his expectations, that type of thing.

He told me he wanted me to be his sub and that he wanted me to do things with him…on Skype. That was when I found out that he didn’t live where I lived. He lived about 20 or so hours away. Ugh. Not ideal obviously, but I continued to discuss things with him. I thought that doing it over Skype and not in person might actually be a good way for the scared part of me to dip my toes in the water (of sub life).

So I asked what he wanted to do on Skype. He said he wanted me to get undressed and he would instruct me to do certain tasks. He didn’t tell me what the tasks would be but I was just horrified with the whole getting undressed part! I mean, who even was he?

So many thoughts went through my head at this point. The main one was, could I really do this submissive stuff? Am I really cut out for this? I was disappointed in myself because I had really wanted to try this but didn’t think I could now.

I ended up telling him that I couldn’t do this. He then told me we would take it slow. He told me to go on Skype, fully clothed. So I did.

I know you may be thinking at this point, is she crazy going on camera with a guy she’s never even met? Well, my one stipulation with him was that I will never show my face on there. He was completely fine with that and respected my decision. It was my one hard limit with him, even though I hadn’t learned about hard or soft limits at that point yet.

By the way, the way we did this whole Skype thing was that I was on video with my laptop but he would text me demands on my cell phone. It was rare that I ever actually talked to him.

So, getting back to it. I was on Skype, fully clothed. He got me to lay down on my bed, with my laptop on my stomach, pointing downwards so my face wasn’t showing of course. At this point, he was texting me just asking me about myself and things like that. Likely, he was trying to calm me from my whole freak out session of not being able to do this. It was working. He also explained more about his intentions as a Dom. He knew he was the first one for me, so he informed me of how things were going to go, and also a little bit about what the whole Dom/sub lifestyle was about.

After all of that, he instructed me to take off my top. Naturally, I started to freak out again. You may be reading this, thinking “Is this girl a prude?”, or maybe you’re able to relate…or maybe you’re still thinking I’m crazy for doing this in the first place. You gotta start somewhere though, right?

Once I started to freak out a bit to him, he went into full Dom mode and told me “Take it off, NOW!”. Not sure what that did to me, but I complied. It was like a switch went off (or maybe on!) in my head and I went from being completely in control of myself to letting that go completely. And I liked it…A LOT. It felt scary but natural all at the same time. I wanted to obey him. I wanted to please him. It surprised the crap out of me because it was like I opened up a side of me that was buried deep deep down, that I never knew I had.

I ended up taking off every last bit of my clothes that day. It was a really good start with him. I liked how he talked to me. I liked how I could tell he was respectful but oh so Dominant as well. For the newbie that I was, I was glad it was him that brought me into this new world of mine.

After that very first experience with him, I knew that I was meant for this lifestyle. I knew that I, no doubt, wanted to be a sub. It felt extremely natural to me and I badly wanted to continue. So I did.

What was your first experience like, either being a sub or Dom? I always love hearing about other people’s stories and how they came to realize that they were a Dom or a sub. Chat soon!