Mine and Will’s switch from the Dom/sub to Master/slave dynamic was going very well. It excited me immensely and I know that he enjoyed it too.

It always seemed as though we continually “upgraded” our relationship. We always wanted to take it a step further, and then another step, and another. You get the drift.

I mentioned in the beginning that one of my hard limits was involving another person in our relationship. That was one of my hardest limits actually. I was adamant that I definitely did not want that.

To recap, the reasons for that were that if we involved a female, I would feel jealous in regards to him and her. In regards to involving a male, I would be nervous to be the centre of attention.

So it surprised me to have a conversation with Will one day where we were thinking of entertaining this idea. I don’t even remember what prompted this, but we talked about it. My birthday was coming up soon at this time, and he wanted it to be a birthday gift to me.

We discussed both involving a female and a male. We ended up deciding on trying for both, meaning that we would advertise for either or.

How would this work? Well, he basically wanted to watch me with either a woman or a man sexually, but he would order me to do things to whomever we got. So it would be a Dom/cuckold type of idea.

There were sacrifices and compromises on both of our ends. I would have wanted him to get involved if it were me with another man, as in a double penetration type of thing. (I had no interest in him being with another man, and neither did he.) But, he just wanted to watch and make demands.

The compromise on his end would be that if we ended up with a woman, he couldn’t touch her. I just couldn’t do it. It would have wrecked us and I know that.

So, after being 100% in agreement on that, we advertised what we were seeking on both the fetish website we were on, as well as a popular dating website.

The response from the male side was immensely more than the female side. I’m not even sure if we ever had any females reply to be honest. Let’s face it, men are more likely to respond to this type of idea.

We found a guy. We explained how things would be throughout the session, and he was completely on board and looking forward to it.

So, we got to know him better through chatting on a messaging app for about a week(ish). Will and I both thought the guy seemed nice. We chatted with him separately but kept each other in the loop on the conversations. (Some of the discussions on his end, he didn’t tell me because it would be a surprise for me when it happened.)

Then, we set up a date to meet. Will and I had played it safe and decided on getting a hotel room for the “event”. We chose not to actually book the hotel room until the actual day of the meet.

Now I was nervous! This was actually happening. I had A LOT going through my head. I’m a thinker. Okay, maybe a tad of an over-thinker. So my head was on overload with this one!

I think what scared me the most was both being the centre of attention, but also performing well for Will to see. I wanted to please him and have him enjoy this so I wanted to be at the top of my game, so to speak.

You may remember me previously talking about how I was never really confident in the bedroom before Will came along and taught me some things, so I still had a bit of a lack of confidence in myself.

I wanted to do it though. I was nervous but I was ready and willing. We had a lot of talks about it, both between ourselves and the guy, until the day came.

It was a weekday. I remember because I got up super early that morning before work in order to get all showered, shaved and looking as good as I possibly could. I spent the entire morning of that day feeling more nervous than I think I ever had in my life!

Then…he cancelled. The guy did. He texted Will saying that his daughter got hurt at school and was in the hospital, so he obviously had to go to her. (Side note: thankfully, she was okay.) We completely understood and felt for him, but we were of course, disappointed.

I had built this day up so much and gone through so much in my head that it was a real let down to not be able to do it.

After that, the guy still wanted to do this with us. He mostly chatted with Will so he was trying to make follow up plans with us after that day, but things ended up changing for Will and me.

Very shortly after that day, Will and I had a huge fight. It had nothing to do with the guy or anything in regards to the whole threesome thing. It was an issue with us directly.

We tried to work things out for about 2 ½ months, until we finally broke up. I took it really badly. I thought Will was the love of my life. At the time, he was. I was devastated and completely heartbroken.

I remember one thing Will told me during our talk about the break-up was to be careful about the guy we were to be with. He had said some things to Will that alarmed him a bit. I never did find out what those things were, but I guess it was probably a good thing that we didn’t meet him that day, in hindsight.

I had zero interest in talking to this guy anymore anyway. He was only there to be a third with Will and me, that’s it, that’s all. I deleted the guy from my messaging app that very day.

I needed to heal from this feeling I was having, and I needed to do it soon. I had to get back on my feet, for my kids’ sakes. I didn’t want to be this down around them.

How I went about getting over him was likely not how most people would have, but it’s what I did and oddly enough, it actually helped. Find out in my next post what I did…and please go easy on me!